Photography Jochem Thyssen

Zebra Bar, Place Saint-Géry 33 Sint-Goriksplein 1000 Brussels

Café Kafka, Rue De La Vierge Noire 6 Zwarte Lievevrouwstraat 1000 Brussels

A L'Imaige De Nostre-Dame, Impasse des Cadeaux 3 Geschenkengang 1000 Brussels

A L'Imaige De Nostre-Dame

A L'Imaige De Nostre-Dame

Gecko Bar, Place Saint-Géry 16 Sint-Goriksplein 1000 Brussels

Au Soleil, Rue du Marché au Charbon 86 Kolenmarkt 1000 Brussels

Au Soleil

Au Soleil

Le Pantin, Chaussée d'Ixelles 355 Elsense Steenweg, 1050 Brussels

Le Pantin

Le Pantin

Free University of Brussels (ULB), Avenue Franklin Rooseveltlaan 50 1050 Brussels

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Free University of Brussels (ULB)

Related posts:

1. The morning after breakfast
2. The throw away project: Jamie Lidell
3. Brussels: where we drink

Sadly, the folks at the Lokerse Feesten didn’t seem to grasp the concept. Despite carrying a valid photo-pass, our photographer – who shoots on film – was not allowed at the front-stage because the camera was “not big enough”. No, really. The security team made a life mission of preventing any spontaneous contact between artists and mere mortals, including members of press, and quickly got onto our case. We’re not going to bore you with trivial details, but it ended with us being declared persona non grata and being subsequently evicted from the site in a completely unnecessary hostile fashion. Our photographer’s right hand was stabbed along the way by what was no more than a glorified steward posing as a security agent, visibly affected by the kind of self-importance that reminds us of a certain experiment. Her hand required surgery and will be paralyzed for at least two weeks. Now you tell us Robbie, was that really necessary?

Photography Ulrike Biets

Here’s some of the material we were able to get despite our limited access. It would be a shame not to share something that (questionably) deserved shedding blood for.

After a hilarious two-hour show where he was beheaded, hung, stabbed by a sword, skewered in a nail-filled coffin, impaled by a giant syringe, rolled around in a wheel chair and beaten up, Alice Cooper was in high spirits and even smelled surprisingly good.

Hygiene is obviously not something his camp take lightly and even the truck and tour bus crew had their own private toilets.

We caught Air’s Jean-Benoît Dunckel after their gig and gave him a camera. He digged the idea and promised to send it back with their tour adventures.

M.I.A.’s current tour features three “vocalists” dressed in customized burqas that stand and dance on stage during the entire gig. They’re actually random girls that are picked up in every city. Their mics are on mute and the headgear conveniently conceals the fact that they do not know the lyrics.

For her Belgian stop, the singer asked lingerie designer Muriel Scherre from La Fille d’O (pictured right) to hook her up with three models. It’s a shame they were covered from head to toe since the girls were obviously banging hot and so was the underwear.

Remember him? He was one of the redheads featured in the controversial Born Free video, directed by Romain Gavras. It turns out White Boy, as he is nicknamed, is also a dancer and has the sickest moves we’ve seen in a while.

M.I.A. invited all the ladies in the crowd to join her but (surprise, surprise) the security team did everything they possibly could to prevent the stage invasion from happening. Annoyed, the singer refused to perform the next song until she was sufficiently surrounded.

Some lucky girls made it, one of which Natalie (in the white t-shirt), who posed as a rock star in our current issue’s fictitious breakthrough band.

Why even bother printing out a set list if you’re going to ignore it anyway? “She’s always fucking it up completely”, moaned a confused White Boy, who never quite knew when it was his cue to jump in and show off his moves.

Paul Weller is dubbed the “Modfather”. We’ll simply refer to him as the “Silver Fox”.

The Horrors‘ frontman Faris left the festival with one of our disposables. We’re hoping to get it back if he makes it at Kurt + Kelly’s Dark Decades exhibition, opening later this month and which will feature some of his drawings.

Pete Doherty vs. the Throw Away Project: Round II. We managed to catch him before the Babyshambles gig and asked him about our camera. He actually remembered the story. We gave him a new one and he promised he’d send it back. Given he also looked pretty loaded this time, we won’t be holding our breath.

The one thing that didn’t suck about this festival was the free of charge Baywatch pinball machine.

Here’s one of the charming goons we had the privilege of encountering. We’ll see who gets the last laugh…

Related posts:

1. Backstage at Dour festival
2. Backstage at Les Ardentes
3. The throw away project: Jimmy Edgar

The disarming femme enfant Uffie admitted to us she enjoys pretending to not understand a word of French, that way she can secretly eavesdrop all ongoing conversations in the press area.

Lola Olafisoye, singer of Chrome Hoof, certainly has what it takes to be Grace Jones’ little sis – crazy as hell, but full of humour. Here she is on her way to the stage, where her band is about to give one of the most impressive concerts of the entire festival.

The only element capable of outshining their music was the mad wardrobe donned on stage.

Atari Teenage Riot is back! Anno 2010 Alec Empire, CX Kidtronik and Nic Endo stirred up the public with their digital hardcore – which stands for an ear blowing sound and phenomenal boost of energy. This gig was (rightfully) many peeps’ absolute highlight at the festival.

Atari Teenage Riot’s front man Alec Empire posing for us right after the gig.

The outer space monsters from Gwar certainly know how to entertain an audience. As if their ridiculous outfits weren’t enough, they went on to chop Hitler’s penis on stage, beheaded the Pope, skinned a Taliban terrorist and sodomized Jesus…

After a Gwar gig, one is bound to be covered in blood and semen (fortunately fake).

Giacomo, singer from rock band Romano Nervoso, enjoyed every second of it.

The dudes from Monotonix are authentic madmen. Here, singer Ami Shalev attempts poking his own eyes with the metal sign. During the concert, a member of the audience went on to call him a monkey – He made sure to correct that person by pointing out that he is in fact a Neanderthal.

The band ended up playing outside of the tent, because they constantly moved all of their instruments, in all directions, even from bottom to top – At certain moments, every band member was up in the air, even the drummer and his drum kit.

We ran into Dim, the leadsinger from Belgian band Driving Dead Girl – who opened the festival Saturday afternoon – well on his way to become completely wasted, courtesy of Jack Daniel’s.

New Young Pony Club pose with towels after their gig. They were a little bit sad they couldn’t linger more to check out the other bands playing at the festival.

Otto Von Schirach and Jimmy Edgar share a bottle of whiskey behind the scenes in between their two gigs. Otto is a complete nutter and it turns out Jimmy is not only a skilled DJ, but also a revered fashion photographer – which explains his frenzy when he saw my vintage camera. We obviously gave him one of our disposables to shoot away. Stay tuned!

For some reason, Luuk from Shameboy was very keen on badmouthing the girls from Flemish band K3.

Here are The Subs arriving at Dour, self-promoting their hit single by wearing a tawdry t-shirt from The Pope of Dope.

The boys’ pumping beats and raw energy was so infectious that it lead the crowd to go bananas. Some even tried to pull down the pants of singer Papillon while he stage dived – without any success.

Here’s a glimpse of what can be soon expected with our Throw Away Project

Related posts:

1. Backstage at Les Ardentes
2. The (bloody) backstage at Lokerse Feesten
3. The throw away project: Pete Doherty

Pictures by Ulrike Biets

The one and only Pharrell, listening to his iPod as he exits his ride to get into the dressing rooms. The iPod actually contained all of N*E*R*D’s brand new top-secret material. No one was allowed anywhere near it, save for two very lucky journalists.

Pete Doherty posing minutes before Babyshambles‘ concert. We handed him a disposable camera to play with, more on that right here.

We hitched a ride with him in the shuttle driving the band to the main stage. Pictured here is a glimpse into the life of an artist constantly surrounded by photographers and fans.

Cypress Hill’s Sen Dog took a five minute break from the show for some herbal relief with French girl band Plastiscines.

Julian Casablancas showing off his guns before his gig. We’re guessing the singer ditched his trademark leather jacket because of the heat. He did however make sure to put it back on when he got on stage.

Turntable masters Birdy Nam Nam’s victorious group-hug following their mad show. We rarely saw so many hands up in the air – they might be French, but these boys sure know how to throw a party.

Here’s the ever so stylish Charlotte Gainsbourg exiting the stage after her concert.

Being fashionable involves sacrifices, such as wearing leather pants despite the scorching heat…

Alice Glass posing before the Crystal Castles gig. We handed her a disposable camera after taking this picture. When we asked about it two hours later, she was too cracked out to even remember having it in the first place.

Crystal Castles’ gig as seen straight from the mosh pit. Hair was pulled and punches were thrown in order to protect the camera and get this shot.

The Midnight Juggernauts after their gig, with drummer Daniel Stricker holding one of our disposable cameras. Their whole summer being packed with dates throughout Europe, the US and Australia, we’re really hoping they’ll send it back with their exotic tour adventures.

We caught Adam Green after his gig having a drink at the artists bar. He professed his love for Brussels and the Ancienne Belgique then bummed a cigarette off us so we stepped outside with him.

Despite almost passing out from the heat, he still asked for some Ketamine. We couldn’t help out. When quizzed about the substance’s effects, he simply answered “it’s like you’re on TV maaaaan”.

John from HEALTH, wiping his gear after rocking it onstage.

BJ, HEALTH’s drummer, was kind enough to get on board with our newly conceived “Throw Away Project”. Check out the boys’ snapshots here.

Jona of YACHT didn’t leave much in his dressing room after leaving the festival, except this used towel and dirty underpants.

Here’s the disposable camera Jamie Lidell gave back to us. Check out the pictures his girlfriend took of him during his show here.

Related posts:

1. Backstage at Dour festival
2. The (bloody) backstage at Lokerse Feesten
3. The throw away project: Pete Doherty

Words Renasha Khan

Delecta

© Sarah Eechaut

The Delecta first opened its doors in 2001, although current owner Coralie Rutten – dubbed “La Biche” – took the place over in 2007. This bar-come-eatery has since become the “place to be” every Thursday night, when skilled DJ’s spin their favourite tunes to an audience composed of neighbourhood regulars as well as the city’s writers, musicians, graphic designers, actors and the likes. The Delecta’s wide selection of dishes has won the hearts and minds of its loyal clientele. And while the mix platter of meats, cheeses and grilled vegetables served with toasts is the most in demand, it’s the to-die-for chicken burger, served only during weekends, that keeps us coming back every time.

Rue Lannoy 2 Lannoystraat
1050 Brussels
+32 (0) 2 644 19 49

L’épicerie Fine de la Senne

© Sarah Eechaut

Valérie and Christian opened this savoury deli and gourmet kitchenette in August 2004, nestled in the pedestrian street linking Boulevard Anspachlaan to Rue du Marché au Charbon/Kolenmarkt. Famed for its wide selection of fresh vegetables and anti pasti, L’épicerie also plays host to the odd exhibition or two (Valérie’s doing) whilst always playing a pleasant selection of tunes, courtesy of Christian. Aptly named after the 19th century river flowing underneath it, L’épicerie is without a doubt the team’s favoured downtown lunchtime den.

Rue du bon Secours 4 Bijstandstraat
1000 Brussels
+32 (0) 2 502 24 26
www.epiceriefinedelasenne.be

Yamato

© Renasha Khan

Renowned as one of the best Japanese restaurants in the city, authentic Ramens and Gyoza are the stars at this tiny hole-in-the-wall style restaurant. Yamato’s distinction means that it’s overwhelmed with customers and paired with the diminutive space, you’ll most definitely have to wait unless you’re there before opening hours. If anything though you’ll know its worth it. Frequented by the Brussels Japanese expat community as well as those on visit here you’ll be assured of the quality of the food on offer.

Rue Francart 11 Francartstraat
1050 Ixelles
+32 (0) 2 502 28 93

Canterbury

© Renasha Khan

The Canterbury is a stalwart in the Brussels fine dining scene. Perfectly positioned in the idyll of the Ixelles/Elsene ponds, this brasserie specializes in traditional cuisine. Famous for its americain, it’s only fitting that Bill Clinton is regularly brought here during visits to the capital. The combination of fines wines, impeccable service and the quality of the food make the Canterbury the epitome of urbane dining.

Avenue de l’Hippodrome 2 Renbaanlaan
1050 Brussels
+32 (0) 2 646 83 93
www.lecanterbury.be

Mirante

© Renasha Khan

Nestled in the depths of central Brussels, surrounded by brasseries offering tourists menus, Mirante shines like a beacon of authenticity. Hailed as the best pizza joint in the city, this is the place to go for freshly made pasta, characteristic Italian charm and a heavenly slice. The restaurant boasts a genuine stone oven so you see your pizzas being made and the specials include veritable Italian regional delicacies, which change everyday. The brilliantly bizarre décor adds to the quirky appeal of this neighborhood gem. Beloved by locals, you’ll only need the olives, bread and quality olive oil that meets you on arrival to understand why.

Plattesteen 13
1000 Brussels
+32 (0) 2 511 15 80

Related posts:

1. Brussels given the Wallpaper* treatment
2. Brussels: where we drink
3. Brussels: where we shop

Mapp Store (Men and Women)

Clothes and accessories by the likes of Alexander Wang T, Peter Jensen or Opening Ceremony are not the only things one can find in the Mapp Store. One of the only addresses that truly deserves the ‘concept store’ tag in the capital, it also stocks carefully selected books, magazines (Mapp introduced us to the wonderful SUP magazine), CD’s, vinyl’s, and regularly schedules exhibitions by up-and-coming local artists, hosts the odd party for a hot DJ’s album launch, or even performances by artists and dancers. If that wasn’t enough, the Mapp Studio also offers creative services that range from stylist consultancy to sound design. Part-owner Emmanuel is a true believer and will always have a good suggestion for you. He recently encouraged us to buy Neon Indian’s Psychic Chasms and we’ve been listening to it ever since.

Rue Léon Lepagestraat 5
1000 Brussels
+32 (2) 551 17 67
www.thisismapp.com

Own (Men and Women)

© Sarah Eechaut

The brainchild of Thierry Rondenet and Hervé Yvrenogeau, Own began as a brand in its own right, growing over the years into a multi-brand store whose pickings reflected the owners’ functional and straight-lined aesthetic. A magnificently designed boutique – rather cunningly pitting wood stage sets against mirror panels -, its selection speaks of experienced buying on the part of the owners. Brands include office favourite APC, the newly brought-in Acne as well as Whyred, Raf by Raf Simons and Atelier 11.

Place du Jardin aux Fleurs 5 Bloemenhofplein
1000 Brussels
+ 32 (0) 2 217 95 71
www.own.be

Balthazar (Men and Women)

© Sarah Eechaut

Muriel Hervy Balthazar and her daughter Gaëtane’s multi brand emporium situated on the cusp of Ixelles’ Avenue Louise and La Cambre’s green spot is an intimate, spacious and unpretentious affair. Striking a perfect balance between the sure-shot (Comme des Garçons, Paul Smith and John Smedley), the basic (Filippa K), the original (Erotokritos) and the surprising (Ghent-based Men’s brand 7days), the offering is, in the words of co-buyer Joy Debauve, “timeless but with a twist, an undefined originality not found elsewhere.” (Karen Van Godtsenhoven)

Avenue Louise 294 Louizalaan
1050 Brussels
+32 (2) 647 77 37
www.balthazarstore.com

PH (Men)

© Sarah Eechaut

Patrick Henderiks’ Boutique PH’ is nestled within the quaintly vibrant retail village of Rue de Namur/Namsestraat, the upward street linking the city’s upper side to its lower counterpart. Opened eight years ago, the boutique affords a dramatic interior style, complete with glass ceiling and contrasting black mirrors and counters. Patrick sees his store as uni-brand, saying the unique selection forms a continuum, similar to his personal ‘indirect collection’. A personal collection boasting tag names not elsewhere available in Brussels: Maison Martin Margiela, Jil Sander, Costume National, Dior Homme and Balenciaga. Probably the city’s best kept secret.

Rue de Namur 68 Namsestraat
1000 Brussels
+32 (2) 548 39 78
www.phstore.com

Icon (Women)

© Sarah Eechaut

Huddled within an 18th century townhouse, Icon carries a selection of brands as diverse as the customers that step in – from Japanese and American tourists to Flemish townsfolk, young hipsters and old French ladies. Michèle Bogaert, owner and buyer, is over the moon with Helmut Lang’s collection. Other brands available in the store include Phillip Lim, Isabel Marant, Citizens of Humanity, Acne, Humanoid and Alexander Wang. (KVG)

Place du Nouveau Marché aux Grains 5 Nieuwe Graanmarkt
1000 Brussels
+32 (2) 502 71 51
www.icon-shop.be

Related posts:

1. Brussels: where we eat
2. Brussels given the Wallpaper* treatment
3. Brussels: where we drink

La Centrale Electrique

As its name aptly suggests, the contemporary art centre is housed in a former power plant. Design aficionados counting the days until September can satisfy their crave with Fighting The Box (until 3rd October), an exhibition celebrating the relationship between designers and their industry. Your chance to see 20 Belgian designers (among which Marina Bautier, Sylvain Willenz, Xavier Lust or Nathalie Dewez) who open their “box”, confess about the design challenges they face and unveil the association between the creative approach and industrial production.

Place Sainte-Catherine 44 Sint-Katelijneplaats
1000 Brussels
+ 32 (0)2 279 64 52
www.lacentraleelectrique.be

Baronian Francey

Opened in 2002 by two well-known figures of the art world (Albert Baronian and Edmond Francey), Baronian Francey has a knack for finding the best new talent, unrelentlessly nurturing and championing it through solo exhibitions, liaising with international galleries and museums as well as creating a historical archive for each of its protégés. Make sure to catch Xavier Mary’s Over Game installation (pictured above) before the gallery closes for the summer on 17th July.

Rue Isidore Verheydenstraat 2
1050 Brussels
+32 (0) 2 512 92 95
www.baronianfrancey.com

Galerie Sans Titre

Drawing its name from a timeless habit recurring amongst uninspired artists, the “untitled” gallery has hosted solo exhibitions by international emerging artists such as Ninar Esber, Ane Graff, Sarah Westphal, Rui Calçada Bastos (pictured above) as well as group shows of local young talent and certified names like Richard Kern or Lee Ranaldo. Opened just over a year ago, the Galerie Sans Titre has established itself as one of the compulsory stops of the Canal district’s flourishing art scene and our favourite address when it comes to exciting, experimental and avant-garde work.

22 Boulevard Barthélémylaan
1000 Brussels
+32 (0) 2 513 35 32
www.galeriesanstitre.be

Wiels

It was about time the capital of Europe had its own proper contemporary art centre. Therefore it’s no wonder the highly anticipated Wiels generated a fair amount of buzz when opening in 2007. The likes of Mike Kelley, Luc Tuymans, and Ben Cain have displayed their work in the in the former Wielemans-Ceuppens brewery since, confirming the success and necessity of such an institution. Currently showing are Rehabilitation (until 15th August), a group exhibition by young artists exploring modernist architecture and design, and Wangechi Mutu’s My Dirty Little Heaven (until 12th September), which we reviewed last week.

Avenue Van Volxemlaan 354
1190 Brussels
+32 (0)2 340 00 50
www.wiels.org

Aeroplastics

© Aeroplastics

Jerome Jacobs provoked quite the stir by opening a gallery in an old building of the upmarket Stephanie Square area in 1998, when the main trend was to occupy vast, disused warehouses along the sides of the canal. Purposely drawing attention to the bourgeois aspect of art collections that others were seeking to dismiss, Aeroplastics offers visitors a refreshing alternative to the standard – if not trite – white cube aesthetic. Summer exhibition The Alchemy of Delusion (until 14th August) introduces the work of Pat Andrea, Ion Bîrlàdeanu, Martin Kasper and Wolfe von Lenkiewicz amongst others.

Rue Blanche 32 Wittestraat
1060 Brussels
+32 (0) 2 537 22 02
www.aeroplastics.net

Related posts:

1. Brussels given the Wallpaper* treatment
2. Brussels: where we shop
3. Naked and bare

Moeder Lambic

© Moeder Lambic

You finally made it to Brussels, world capital of beers. It would be criminal to pass on a pintje. For a taste of the real deal, Chez Moeder Lambic is where you want to head to. You have two addresses to pick from: the most recent and bigger one on the Place Fontainas Plein (pictured above), or the original – and our personal favourite – tavern in the heart of Saint-Gilles/Sint-Gillis, opened more than 25 years ago and flaunting the kind of motto (Beer is the answer) we can only raise our glasses to. Favouring quality over quantity, the place only serves artisan beers. And don’t even dare ask for a Jupiler or a Kriek, or the very knowledgeable (perhaps even snobbish at times) staff will laugh at you. But then again, you wouldn’t go to the city’s finest steakhouse to order a Big Mac, would you?

Rue de Savoie 68 Savoiestraat
1060 Brussels
+ 32 (0) 2 544 16 99

Place Fontainas 8 Fontainasplein
1000 Brussels
+ 32 (0) 2 503 60 68

www.moederlambic.eu

Fontainas

© Fontainas

The Fontainas exudes a certain je ne sais quoi that makes us want to listen to dreampop on a sunny terrace while sipping a violet flavoured cocktail. Don’t ask us why, it just does. It’s the kind of oasis of peace you’ve been looking for after a draining run through the city’s downtown, sucking on those last ounces of strength left in you as you wander through the cobblestoned pedestrian roads behind the busy Anspach Boulevard. Very popular with the local gay and lesbian community, this cute little café ticks all our boxes: great location, decent music, friendly atmosphere, lovely terrace, yummy juices and tasty nibbles. Sundays also sometimes play host to Lady Jane’s Catclub.

Rue Marché au Charbon 91 Kolenmarkt
1000 Brussels
+ 32 (0) 2 503 31 12

Booze ‘n’ Blues

© Ulrike Biets

Whether it’s the hectic mix and match interior, the vintage jukebox, owner Eddy’s impeccable taste in music and legendary aloofness, his submarines (a shot of schnapps in a glass of beer) or the “colourful” bathroom, we just can’t get enough of this place. We already raved about it in last year’s Heritage Issue (making it the issue’s institution) and still don’t tire of sending every single person we meet to our favourite boozer, even though Eddy probably hates us by now…

Rue des Riches Claires 20 Rijke-Klarenstraat
1000 Brussels

Madame Moustache

© Madame Moustache

Born a few months ago, Madame Moustache Et Son Freakshow has rapidly become the name on everyone’s lips. You’ll find this eccentric modern day cabaret on the lively Place Sainte-Catherine/Sint-Katelijneplaats right where the now defunct Los Romanticos held its frenzied salsa nights. Hosting wild gigs as well as DJ sets, its knack for garage, rockabilly, 60’s rock and coldwave have filled a void that was oh too deep in the capital. Those less keen about going nuts in front of a teddy band can always enjoy the chilled out vibe of the lounge area. If you’re in the area on a Wednesday night, do pop in to catch their weekly “Back To The Grave” garage fests. Expect polka dot dresses, tattoos, pointy shoes and raven bowl cuts.

Quai au Bois à Brûler 5-7 Brandhoutkaai
1000 Brussels
www.madamemoustache.be

Café Bonnefooi

With a different DJ set or gig scheduled for each day of the week, the Bonnefooi knows no boring nights. The clientele is as eclectic as the musical programming so you never really know what you’ll be getting yourself into. Open from 5pm to 5am, the Bonnefooi has become our favourite place to crash after a gig at the Ancienne Belgique or once the downtown bars have called the last drink.

Rue des Pierres 8 Steenstraat
1000 Brussels
www.bonnefooi.be

Le Tigre

One of the latest additions of the trendy Place Flageyplein, this small café has the kind of understated charm that made it an instant favourite amongst the team. Relatively quiet during the day, it’s the perfect spot for a chilled out drink with the family or an informal business meeting. At night, the street terrace packs up with locals that are eager to escape from the Flagey madness.

Rue de la Brasserie 117-119 Brouwerijstraat
1050 Brussels

Related posts:

1. Brussels given the Wallpaper* treatment
2. Brussels: where we eat
3. Brussels: where we shop

What does it take these days to hype yourself through to breakthrough point? We ask four industry insiders to give us the skinny on making it in music, politics, art and the tabloid press.

Writer Hettie Judah + Anonymous, photography and video KKGB

Behind most hot new stars there’s a breakthrough story – a discovery myth packed with coincidence, lucky breaks and raw talent. The juicy waitress, whose polyester-clad charms catch the eye of a Hollywood producer as she passes cherry pie across the counter. The uncompromising band that storm into the office of the label head with their demo tapes and get signed on the spot for sheer audacity. The publicity-shy artist, discovered near starvation in his garret, who has his entire portfolio snapped up by a major collector. The fearless politician prepared to risk his party career for a cause he truly believes in.

There are few things that keep the celebrity-loving public dreaming more effectively than the notion that you can miraculously become famous and successful without needing to do anything so undignified as try. In part, it’s because we all get to share in the myth – every waitress can dream of being spotted, every pub band hold onto the belief that one day, they too will be rewarded for staying true to their roots. The breakthrough myth allows us to ignore the machinery that keeps us so well fed with next big things and makes sure that we’re always ready for more. Magazines from Grazia to Time depend on a steady stream of new stories – be that the latest young designer, an artfully concocted piece of celebrity gossip or a political scoop – to fill their pages every week. Journalists, scouts and talent hunters are on a constant heat-seeking mission, ears cocked for a tell-tale buzz that will lead them to the next breakthrough.

Catch them when they’re tired, cynical, and fatigued insiders from every industry will disclose the well-trodden path that will carry someone from struggling obscurity to next-big-thingitude. The common line is that no-one knows anything – whether in the art world or the music industry, it seems that an astonishing number of the supposed front-line taste makers are guided by herd instinct rather than taste or intelligence. One music industry correspondent scathingly described the entire A&R world as a flock of sheep, incapable of independent opinions and always ready to stampede towards whatever new act the herd had managed to hype up within its ranks.

Looking and acting the part is the first step to breakthrough, whether that means airing your stroppy good looks in the right Berlin bars to send shivers round the art world, or rolling up your shirt sleeves and growing your hair long enough to be anointed a crusading political maverick. The perfect embodiment of style over substance is the now familiar breed of indeterminate female celebrities that keep the popular press so well supplied with fleshy front-page snaps. Qualifications for this kind of breakthrough include the ability to get photographed falling out of doll-sized clothes, the willingness to undergo major surgery in order to stay on the front pages, and a ruthlessness about your personal life that can translate the most intimate encounters into headline news.

Celebrity is infectious, and grows exponentially with every connection – whether you’re a young designer of questionable talent who becomes best friends forever with the top model of the moment, an aspiring TV presenter who buys herself credibility and column inches dating the singer of an indie band, or an ageing pin-up who boosts her recording career by marrying a high profile politician. Hanging out with famous people is one of the easiest ways to generate buzz for your breakthrough. Being admitted into the circle of fame acts as an endorsement: if the famous people think that you’re good enough to be famous, well, who are the rest of us to argue? For all our desire for discovery myths, part of us knows that we’re being sold to, and our enthusiasm for novelty can quickly become tainted by suspicion. We purify ourselves through our tendency to yank new stars off their pedestals as fast as we put them up there. Breakthrough may be easy, but to stay hot you need people to like you – the ruthless aggression, arrogant posturing and flexible morals that propelled you to fame are not necessarily well suited to maintaining your position in the public affection.

The alternatives are to genuinely become that thing that you’re pretending to be – a talented artist, a real actress, a musician who can write – or to have such control over the relevant sectors of the press that you can effectively manufacture and maintain an entirely fictional public persona. For a musician, model or artist it helps to start dating the editor of a magazine, in politics you can control the flow of information to selected journalists (unless you’re in Italian politics, in which case you can buy the newspaper and threaten any journalist who steps out of line with actual bodily harm.) For an illustration of how fragile fame is after a successful breakthrough, try leafing through a few out-of-date magazines and see how many names stay the course. It makes you think, really, whether it might not be more noble to dream of being a flash in the pan or a one-hit wonder than to put all the tiresome effort into actually making it for real. Better a speedy breakthrough and even speedier retreat, perhaps, than hanging around to remind everyone that you’re yesterday’s news.

The hot new band

Samuel: All clothes Model's own. Nathalie: T-Shirt Petit Bateau, jewellery Véritas. Vincent: blazer Brunel Mintona. Timothy: All clothes Model's own.

Timothy: All clothes Model's own. Samuel: All clothes Model's own. Vincent: blazer Brunel Mintona. Nathalie: T-Shirt Petit Bateau, jewellery Véritas.

Samuel: All clothes Model's own. Timothy: All clothes Model's own. Nathalie: T-Shirt Petit Bateau, jewellery Véritas. Vincent: blazer Brunel Mintona.

To make a buzz band you need to look the part: emaciated to the point of collapse in jeans as skinny as drinking straws, your hair weighs more than your head and is so directional in cut that you must become accustomed to viewing the world through one eye. On the feet – Converse or beaten up brogues. Over the t-shirt – a leather jacket held together by ambition alone. One member must be of semi-aristocratic heritage with a monthly allowance to fund your start up (and pay for your drugs). You’ll also need a manager (to pay for your drugs when the monthly allowance dries up), and a handful of hazy long-haired Bambi-limbed girls to follow you everywhere, have sex with occasionally (and pay for your drugs). Lurk around Shoreditch on a daily and nightly basis creating a ‘scene’. (‘Scenes’ are what A&R men care about. None of them would know a half decent band if it stood up in their pint). Creating a scene couldn’t be easier. Affiliate yourself with another band: perhaps you could share a drummer or a bass player: as long as there is a skein of a recognisable sonic hook to your output then voila, you have your scene. Next, make a record on an obscure label and coerce the next Gavin Turk or Jake Chapman to make a video that will cost twice as much as was budgeted for, take light years to edit, you will hate and no one will ever see. And now we come to our nirvana – the launch party. Cultivate some contacts in the world of fashion. The Holy Grail in this world is Alexa Chung. Get someone who knows someone who is a friend of her make-up artists to invite her to your launch party. If she, oh hallelujah, actually turns up, manoeuvre her near the sound system and get her to press a button and then you can say that Alexa Chung DJ’d at your launch party and honey, you have arrived. (“Lady Parker”)

The celebrity politician

Suit, tie and shirt Café Costume

Suit, tie and shirt Café Costume

Suit, tie and shirt Café Costume, shoes and briefcase Weston

“If you are not on television or radio” the head of a big research group said to me the other day, “you are dead.” Nowhere is this stomach-churning bullshit more true than in the political world. At party conferences old school friends have begged me to put them on the television, offering to say or do pretty much anything so they can to get 15 seconds of face time on the magic lantern. The media you need to deal with are of course changing fast; the two biggest recent hits from the Palace of Nonentities – the European Parliament – were YouTube sensations; both of them Europhobes. Dan Hannan and Nigel Farage delivered speeches and soundbites perfectly suited to a three minute attention span. Being media savvy and media friendly is however a necessary but not sufficient condition for political success. It really does help if you are clever. Not too clever. Too smart and you quickly receive the kiss-of-death label ‘wonkish’ or ‘nerdy’ (see: British Foreign Secretary David Milliband, oh-so-yesterday’s man). But to get to the top you need to know the basics of contemporary history, politics and economics. Nobody else does, but some smart-alec journalist will catch you out pretty fast if you don’t (see: Sarah Palin). Finally, to make it – and here we are talking about the big time, not about time-serving in the Assemblee Nationale or getting a peachy number in the Food Standards Agency – you need to be mad. Not so much that people are concerned for their safety when you are around, but mad so that you are ready to sacrifice everything, everything – your family, your health, every last scrap of dignity – in pursuit of high office. In 1993 Nicolas Sarkozy, then mayor of a prosperous suburb of Paris, walked into a school where an explosives laden lunatic had taken a bunch of children hostage and negotiated the releases of the boys and girls. That’s the kind of madness you should aspire to. So, ask yourself, as you step up to the base of the greasy pole, do you feel lucky, punk? (“Deep Vote”)

The Artist

All clothes Model's own

All clothes Model's own

All clothes Model's own

There’s a scene in Basquiat (1996), Julian Schnabel’s brilliantly cornball biopic, where the doomed artist asks his slacker pal how long it takes to get famous. “Four years,” is the reply. Nowadays, particularly if you want the short, meteoric career, you can do it in two. First, get noticed: be tall, good-looking (artworld people are, on average, 68 percent prettier than anywhere outside of fashion, not that all of them are outside of fashion), and have a weird, striking name (hello, Tris Vonna-Michell) and exotically mixed heritage. If possible, be an ex-model (Matthew Barney, Rosson Crow). Make your art comfortingly retro, yet complicatedly so, e.g. paintings that recall Paris in 1919 crossed with New York in 1958, or films that look like ‘60s documentaries but don’t make any sense. If you haven’t been tapped by a hot, youth-obsessed gallery like New York’s Team or London’s Herald Street at your MA degree show (oops!), forget sending jpegs and begging letters. Instead, move to Berlin – it’s losing its edge, but you’ll probably discover which low-rent enclave artists are decamping to next – and hug the bar in Keyser Soze until loudmouth bragging about your radically dematerialised aesthetic strategy and/or willingness to stand drinks for anyone who resembles a curator (thick square glasses or, if you’re curatorial kingpin Hans Ulrich Obrist, Mekon forehead) puts you in a biennale and gets you written about in frieze or Kaleidoscope. Then, keep making the same artwork over and over. Be the fill-in-the-blank guy/girl; defend your corner. Hire young, hungry assistants, who’ll not only make your work but have the ideas too. (You’ll have stolen your first, fame-creating idea from someone smarter but uglier.) Finally, when you feel your moment fading, announce you’re making a feature film with your new pals James Franco and Courtney Love. Two years? At most. (“Gaston de Latour”)

KKGB is

Video Federico Zanghì
Editing Matthieu Becker
Photographer Gabriele Trapani
Art direction Nam Simonis
Stylists Amarande Angely /Brunel Mintona
Hair & make up Orla McKeating at C’est Chic

Related posts:

1. Stadium invasion
2. Rolling rolling…
3. There’s a riot going on

Writer Marcus Barnes, photography Charlotte May Wales, additional research by Renasha Khan

In 1994 we fell in love with a new sound that we had never heard before, it was Jungle music and we couldn’t get enough. After hearing a few tunes on the TV we were hooked and we needed to hear more … it was almost instinctive when we turned the radio on and searched the FM band for some more Jungle. And we found it straight away. At the time the two biggest stations were Rush FM and Kool FM – we would have arguments at school about which was the best station. Without those stations we never would have known about all the different tunes, DJs, MCs and producers of that era – they opened our eyes up to a whole new world. In 2010 some of these stations are still on the airwaves, but what does the future hold with the likes of live streaming on the internet, podcasts and advances in technology that now allow almost anyone with a computer to be a DJ/broadcaster ?

Mini-documentary on Rush FM, Part 1

Part 2

In the mid to late 80s, the burgeoning house music scene was growing fast and its exponents needed an outlet to play their new music – main-stream stations weren’t providing it, and so, inspired by the famous Radio Caroline, they set about finding a way to set up their own stations and play what they wanted to hear. Preceded by stations like Transmission One, based in Ladbroke Grove, which played early Hip-Hop (the real, early UK stuff), these DJs and MCs took inspiration from a radio station on a boat and took to the rooftops of London’s tower blocks to get their music out there to the followers. Accused of being funded by drug money,blamed for interfering with the radio frequencies of the emergency services …and of course for playing what was referred to as ‘devil music’ by some, the early pioneers of pirate radio faced a huge struggle to establish themselves.

Insiders of the Pirate Radio Scene in london give their insights

Kool FM is considered to be THE premier pirate radio station. Broadcasting for over 18 years, they have not only established themselves as London’s leading pirate station, with a name that is now known all over the globe but they have also helped to establish some of the Jungle/Drum ‘n’ Bass scene’s best known DJs and MCs. DJ Chef has been playing on the station for the last few years, getting his big break in 2004, when he appeared in a guest slot. The East Londoner sees a direct link between the early ’soundboys’, the owners of reggae soundsystems, and the evolution of illegal broadcasters. With a distinct lack of underground Caribbean music being played on commercial stations, Chef explains that the soundboys needed a way to play the music they wanted to hear, and so the legendary Station FM was born. One of the very early pirates, Station played host to a variety of Caribbean music -Roots – that was a far cry from the pop-style reggae that was being played on the mainstream stations.

DJ Chef explained that, in this day and age, it’s possible for anyone to become a DJ and, thanks to the Internet, anyone can broad-cast their music to a global audience without much effort. But, in the early days of pirate in London you had to know somebody who was already involved in the scene to even be able to get behind a set of decks. The technology was very hard to come by and expensive – Chef was only able to have access to a pair of Technics 1210s because he had a friend who was the first in the area to pick some up. The whole thing was very much a closed market, a specialised area where being in the know was pretty much the only way to have access to the scene. To be able to get onto a pirate radio station took a hell of a lot of leg work, not just meeting people but working hard to establish your name, to let people know you could play a credible set, you had the skills and knowledge to be able to hold your own on one of the top stations. All this helped to create a strong, thriving movement – a close family of broadcasters, DJs, MCs, producers, promoters and a highly appreciative, dedicated audience. If you were a fan of Jungle, Hardcore, Acid House, Techno, Rave and everything else in between then the only way to get your fix of what was happening within these underground music genres was to tune into a pirate station. Kool FM and Rush FM were initial rivals however, proving just how close the community was, they broadcast from the same tower block, in rooms next to each other.

Chef tells us that Kool’s godfather, the legendary Eastman, says the station is all about community – built up over nearly two decades on the airwaves. It’s the ‘Underground Heartbeat’ of the scene and always will be. So much so, that he says if Kool FM was offered a legal licence, he would accept it, but still maintain a pirate separately. Citing Kiss FM as a prime example of a pirate that has gone legal and been watered down, Chef sees the difficulty of maintaining a legal station (financial costs, advertising, bowing down to major labels and so on) as detrimental to the station’s original ethos. Stations like Kool FM and Rinse FM have helped some of their scenes’ biggest stars on the road to success DJ Brockie, MC Dett, Ragga Twins, Navigator, Mampi Swift, Trace, Ryme Time, Dizzee Rascal, Wiley, Tinchy Stryder, Tinie Tempah and many others first found fame through pirate radio and are now at the top of their game. Creating the foundation of a music community that is so particular to illegal radio in the UK.

An old school jungle set from Kool FM with DJ Brockie and MC Det

Tinie Tempah, Pass Out

Chef himself not only DJs in clubs and on radio, but he also works with young people in Newham, East London to teach DJ skills and producing. He recently established a radio station at the Newham Academy, so a new generation of people are gathering the skills to be able to broadcast. This is all done with the aid of UStream, a relatively new internet concept which allows users to broadcast live audio and video from their PC, Mac or iPhone. And this is where it gets interesting; the website is almost like a multimedia version of Twitter – you sign up and you can deliver a live DJ set to your followers from your bedroom, or even from the club you’re playing at. Which Chef often does. Not only that, but you can connect to other social net working sites, like Facebook, Bebo, Myspace and Twitter, and update your status to tell all of your friends/acquaintances that you’re broadcasting. On top of this, every live stream can be archived and watched over and over by thepeople who subscribe to your channel. If anything signals a move away from pirate and into a whole new world of individual broadcast via the internet, then UStream appears to be the beginning of something new and exciting, if utilised in the right way. Still relatively new and untapped, UStream offers the kind of possibilities that were unheard of just five or 10 years ago. Imagine taking a mobile phone with you to a club, and being able to broadcast your entire set via that phone… and of course, away from the live club aspect, it offers the chance to be able to DJ from your bedroom and broadcast across the globe.

But Chef reminds us that the established stations will still hold a certain resonance and respect, and up-and-coming DJs will yearn to play for them. Even now he gets multiple requests from DJs for a chance to play on Kool FM because it offers the kind of prestige that money and new technology just can’t buy. The demand to play on pirate radio is still there, and will not dissipate until there is a legitimate replacement for it. On top of this, having so much at the tip of your fingers creates a kind of laziness, an apathy that didn’t exist when technology was harder to come by. With so much at their disposal, youngsters can dip into whatever they want, try it for a while and, if they don’t like it, move on to the next thing. Grime music being a prime example – the genre exploded in the early 2000s, everyone was an MC or a DJ and kids were producing music on their Playstations. It created a few stars, some of whom are still around today, but just as quickly as it appeared and all the free space on the FM dial was full of Grime stations, it dropped off. The youngsters becoming bored of it, or finding something else to do. Chef believes pirate radio will continue to exist, despite the speed at which technology is growing and allowing anyone to become a broadcaster. It has been passed down through generations, a London culture which has never really translated to other cities or countries around the world, thanks to London’s very special mix of migrants and indigenous people.A city that has created Jungle/Drum ’n’ Bass, Dubstep and is unrivalled in its diehard mentality towards its specific cultural movements.

Across the water, pirate radio may not have had the impact that it did in London, but it has still had its role to play. Chef mentioned a brilliant story about a DJ from Austria who came to London at the height of the Jungle explosion- found some pirate stations during his time here and was so inspired he went back home, bought some equipment and set up his own station in the mountains, broadcasting tapes he’d made. France once had a large pirate presence, with socialist-run stations running for several decades before they were legalised. Most Pirate radio stations in The Netherlands are based in the countryside and play a kind of Dutch folk music that has a niche audience; although rural, rather than urban, just as in London, these stations are born out of a need to play music that the mainstream just doesn’t cater for. Pirate radio station Radio Tonka provides political commentary and has a roster of dedicated and loyal DJs, playing a varied mix of Jazz, Punk, 80s New Wave, Flamenco, and Hip Hop. Founded15 years ago, Tonka initially broadcast every night between midnight and four am. They started out in various places including the Hague, but moved into a more legal realm five years ago. They are now broadcasting on the wavelength of another local (funded) radiostation, Denhaag FM, six days a week.

Back in London, the Flex FM Team were also on hand to fill us in on London’s pirate scene, they see pirates on the FM frequency as provoking a kind of nostalgia amongst its listeners – that familiar ’snap, crackle and pop’ instills a kind of warm feeling unlike the synthetic sounds of a live internet stream. Losing reception is all part of the fun.

Over the last few years the rave scene has seem something of a comeback, with illegal warehouse parties way out in Essex becoming an almost regular occurance, and of course, with this, plenty of old school radio listeners have got back into it, picking up where they left off and searching the FM band for a bit of old Hardcore or Jungle. Where else can you find it but pirate radio? The team behind Flex FM believe that the airwaves should not be owned, Government control oppresses the freedom of music – legal stations have very little room to really play what they want at any time of the day. Pirates allow artists who may be overlooked by the mainstream to get their music out to the people who matter. There’s an almost diehard mentality amongst the Flex FM Team, an acknowledgement that their scene needs to continue to stay alive – the thrill of the chase comes into it too. Working undercover to evade capture from the DTI, getting your aerial up, finding a good location or pulling up to a car that’s actually tuned into their station is all part of the excitement of pirate radio. No amount of technology can replace that.

So, will the Internet take over? Pirates are already on the wane, but as long as there is an active audience and a willing amount of participants, illegal FM stations will always be in existence. The internet has its plus points and no doubt offers a whole new world of possibilities, but the grassroots and the foundations will, hopefully, always be in the pirate movement.

Related posts:

1. So hip, so Hepcat
2. Skin to us…
3. Bands and brands